If you’ve ever been entangled in a war of words, you know just how ugly and divisive it can be. Yet, there is a different kind of war that rages in so many relationships which has the potential to be equally destructive.
It is a silent war waged with very few, if any, words at all. Instead of explosive verbal fireworks, there is quiet disengagement that results in a “flight” or “escape” response. All the while, dangerous embers of unaddressed hurt and anger quietly burn in the recesses of the heart and are manifested through attempts to avoid, ignore, and marginalize the problem or the person.
No matter whether the conflict is out in the open or just beneath the surface, escaping or fleeing from it won’t make it go away. Burying the issue – rather than eradicating it – only gives opportunity for it to surface again, disrupting our relationships. Yet, when the heart is wounded, sometimes retreating from the pain seems preferable to coping with it. When this occurs, we are likely to face a detour that takes us far from the path that leads to peace.
Because our silent wars can be masked so skillfully, we often ignore them and do nothing. Days, weeks, months, even years, come and go. All the while, hurt, indifference, or stubbornness block our resolve to restore the broken relationship.
As you reflect on this blog post in the context of your own life, here are a couple of questions you may want to ask yourself: Is there someone I’ve been avoiding, ignoring, or marginalizing? If so, could it be that there is unresolved hurt that needs to be discovered and addressed?
If we find ourselves entangled in conflict of any kind, let’s first look to Christ, then look at our own hearts. If we’re open to the Spirit’s prompting and guidance, He can help us see the best way to move toward restoration and healing. No matter the wars that are being waged, the journey to a restored relationship is possible when we choose The Path of a Peacemaker. Walk the path.
Dale Pyne – CEO, Peacemaker Ministries
Did you find this post helpful?